Wow, another week passed and gone, I can't believe it. NEXT Thursday we will be getting Transfer calls and I will be starting my 4th transfer HOLY COW!!! I am sure I will be staying at least one more transfer here in Ube, and after that, who knows what will happen!? Just rolling with the punches ;)
Hmmm..where to start...the letter you sent was so great, thank you so much. I feel your love and concern. I needed the confidence boost! :) Sister Nelson and I had a little bit of a rough week together...personality issues were arising, and we weren't really talking about it so it was causing some contention between us. However, we talked about it last night and resolved everything so I think all will be good now! She is a wonderful person, I am really blessed to be her companion. She is teaching me a lot about relying upon God through prayer. She is an optimistic person which is great. I am trying to be an easier person to be around..when I get in a bad mood, I stay in one. Haha, you probably remember...SO yeah, working on that, and working on being more humble..I'm not ALWAYS right..just usually. ;) But in all honesty, I am so grateful to be here. Satan has gotten a hold of me at times, just like he does with all missionaries at one point or another, but Heavenly Father has always always guided me and lifted me out of the hard times. I am SO grateful for that.
Missions are so weird...you don't feel like you are doing ANYTHING to further Gods work, or you don't feel like you are becoming the missionary he needs your to be in the moment...and then you look back on 6 months and you are able to see how much you've grown. You're testimony of the Atonement is so much stronger than it was..which, is really the most important thing.
All I know is I am being prepared to deal with and overcome trials and challenges now that are going to help me for whatever is coming in the future. And HOW grateful I am for that!
I know that Satan really is trying everything he can to stop the work. But he can't. It will continue to push forward right up until Christ comes...which is really soon by the way! You don't realize how many sighs Heavenly Father is sending his children to prepare for the second coming until you are right in the middle of it, being the one trying to raise a waring voice.
I know I am doing all that I can. Heavenly Father loves me, and I am grateful for his patience with me. If you ever need to feel really humbled, just go on a mission to Japan :)
I forgot to mention the most important part of my breakdown that I had last week with the language...
When I had my little breakdown we were out in front of this potential investigators house and we had just finished a short lesson with her...I looked to the girl that could speak really good Japanese and just started bawling because I felt so inadequate. (this girl is also a sister trainer leader, she serves in Iwakuni, and she is Sister Buhlers companion when they travel the mission to other areas...she was born in Japan. Which means she is fluent ha. And she has been here for over a year), anyways we all decided it would be best if we went back to the apartment and talked things out. And since I felt like the spirit wasn't with me, I agreed to go back for the night. We were about 30 minutes away from home...the whole way back I cried on my back. (I can't remember how much detail I gave in my last email so sorry if I am repeating anything) as I was riding/bawling/hating Japan and the language...the scripture Ether 12:27 came into my mind as clear as day...not the whole thing, just the first part. IT was really short, but a really CLEAR still small voice.
'I give unto men weakness that they may be HUMBLE.'
the holy ghost whispered this less than desirable thing into my heart...which made me even more upset. At the time I thought I had been humbled enough, I was SICK of being humbled!
haha..you can see that I have a long ways to go still. I have a lot more to learn.
When I got home I said the most heartfelt prayer ever asking Heavenly Father to forgive me for being so angry for sending me to Japan. Afterwards, the rest of the scripture came to mind...and it was very comforting.
'I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my GRACE is SUFFICIENT for ALL MEN that HUMBLE themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make WEAK things become STRONG unto them'
Wow, I could not have asked for a more comforting and powerful promise form the scriptures than that. "I will make WEAK things become STRONG unto them."
As I have contemplated that scripture, I have come to one conclusion. And that conclusion is this: My strength is weak. My knowledge is weak. I. AM. WEAK. BUT IF I HUMBLE myself before the lord, he will MAKE ALL MY weaknesses into strengths. What a miracle.
This is the miracle of the atonement.
I love the gospel, I love it. I love each of you. Thank you all for your love and support, I could not ask for a more loving and supportive family. Yesterday in church on of the lessons was on eternal families and we got into groups and talked about our families for like 10minutes, and as I talked about you and dad I almost started to cry. I mentioned how since the first week of being in the MTC I had heard from both of you every single week. EVERY WEEK. What a blessing you are in my life. And how blessed am i that I am sealed into an eternal family. I will forever be grateful. I am so overwhelmed to hear that by some miracle, my letters are helping other family members come unto Christ. Tell Grandma Terry that I love her, and that the Atonement is real. Tell her Heavenly Father loves her and that he is anxious for her to come and live with him again. He loves her.
Real quickly, I will share some miracles...
We found 3 new investigators this week. One is a 17 yr old girl, another is a former investigator and another is a young mom with a really cute family. We have appointments with all of them this week so I will let you know how it goes!!
I love you.
Until next time :)